Holy Matrimony
“Consumer or Covenant”
Ephesians 5

“There are three or four things I cannot understand: How eagles fly so high or snakes crawl on rocks, how ships sail the ocean or people fall in love.” – Agur (Proverbs 30:18-19 CEV)

Significant Shift
	Marriage used to be about US, but now is about ME

Purpose of Marriage
	The mystery of Jesus, a heavenly Father, and the gospel are unveiled through marriage.
	Self-sacrifice, unconditional love, and grace are unveiled through marriage.

The greatest enemy of love is expectations.
	If you owe me $100, then you can’t give me $100.

Walk in the way of love (agape)
	Give everything without expecting anything in return.

Marriage is a…
“Submission competition”
Race to be last
Competition to love first

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – John 13:34

“Love like I have loved you” – Jesus

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” – Ephesians 5:22

Patri Postestas
Power of a man, in Roman law, over his family, children and property that gave the right to treat and control his family, including capital punishment.

“Wives, to your own husbands as to the Lord.” – Ephesians 5:22

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” – Ephesians 5:21

Mutual Submission
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” - Ephesians 5:25 

Essence of Marriage
	The mutual commitment to the good of the other because of Jesus.

Will my marriage be a consumer or covenant relationship?

Consumer Relationship - a relationship that lasts only as long as the “vendor” meets your needs at a cost acceptable to you.

Covenant Relationship - a relationship based on a vow, with a future promise, where the good of the relationship takes precedence over the individual.

Covenant Relationship
Not transactional
Love happens best in binding obligation
Acts in the power of future love
Based on vows to grow, breathe, and become open
“Tied to the mast”

2/3 of unhappy marriages become happy within 5 years when vows are kept.
 
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31

Obligation is the essence of happier, better, more fulfilling relationships! 

Risky

Didn’t God risk a lot in loving you?