The Playbook
“How To Date and Decide”
Proverbs 4

Prioritize commitment more than chemistry.

Culture teaches …
“Love happens to you”
“Follow your heart”
“Find your soulmate”
“Let love find you”
“Love at first sight”

The Bible teaches … 
“Guard your heart”
“Find God, and He may direct you to a spouse”
“Looks are fleeting”
“Let love cover conflict”
“Rejoice in your spouse”

Myth #1: “Find your soulmate.”
Truth #1:  “Find God, and be complete.”
Colossians 2:9-10; Psalm 16:11; Ephesians 3:19; Psalm 23:1; Proverbs 18:22, 19:23, Ephesians 5:25; Proverbs 1:1-2, 7; Revelation 2:4-5

Biblical love is something you do on the hard days, not something you feel on the easy ones. 

“The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.” – Proverbs 19:23

Singles: Don’t make dating or marriage decisions alone
Dating: Will this person help recalibrate my heart toward God?
Married: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Myth #2 – “Follow your heart.”
Truth #2 – “Guard your heart.”
Jeremiah 17:9; Proverbs 4:2-27, 5:1-6, 19:23; Matthew 5:8

Feelings are real, valid, and deserve attention, but they make a poor compass. Commitment keeps us on course.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” – Jeremiah 17:9

Singles: You are complete in Christ, even if you still desire marriage. 
Dating: Are you equally yoked? – 2 Corinthians 6:14
Married: Loneliness is not an issue exclusive to singles 

Myth #3 – “Love at first sight”
Truth #3 – “Looks are fleeting.”

Attraction is a doorway, not a home.

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain [fading]…” – Proverbs 30:31

Singles: The Bible has a high view of singleness and celibacy – 1 Corinthians 7:7, 1 Corinthians 7:32-34
Dating: Pace your emotions and watch for red flags
Married: Looks are fleeting – Proverbs 31:30; Ephesians 5:25; Proverbs 5:18-19

Myth #4 – “If it’s hard, it’s wrong.”
Truth #4 – “Love isn't about attractiveness or lovability. It's about sacrifice and commitment.”

Chemistry may fade, but committed love has staying power.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

So, prioritize commitment more than chemistry.

Singles: Will you trust God with your future?
Dating: Are you building character and commitment, or are you just enjoying chemistry?
Married: What is one way that you could act out your commitment that has nothing to do with how you feel?

How you date and decide matters.