In a world where conflict and offense are inevitable, understanding the power of forgiveness is essential for healing and restoring our relationships. Jesus teaches us that forgiveness is not only necessary for spiritual growth but also for personal freedom. His profound teaching comes through in the parable of the unforgiving servant, found in Matthew 18:21-35.

The Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the key to healing in any relationship. It may seem counterintuitive, but forgiving others actually brings healing to our own hearts. When we withhold forgiveness, we allow resentment, bitterness, and anger to take root, which prevents us from moving forward in our relationships with others and with God. Jesus teaches us that to move forward, we must let go of our grievances and extend the same grace that God has shown to us.

In the parable of the unforgiving servant, Jesus illustrates the magnitude of God’s forgiveness. The servant in the parable owes an unimaginable debt: an amount that would take 200,000 years of wages to repay. Yet, the king forgives him entirely when the servant pleads for mercy. This reflects God’s boundless love and mercy; He forgives us freely, not because we deserve it, but because of His great mercy.

Jesus’ Teaching on Unlimited Forgiveness

Peter, one of Jesus’ disciples, asks how many times one must forgive another. His question stems from the Jewish tradition that one should forgive three times. Peter, wanting to impress Jesus, suggests seven times, double the expected amount plus one. Jesus’ response is radical: “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). The message is clear: forgiveness should be unlimited.

Jesus teaches that forgiveness should be continual and without bounds. We are to forgive as often as necessary, no matter how many times we are wronged. This reflects God’s endless forgiveness toward us, and we, as His followers, are called to offer that same grace to others.

The Consequences of Withholding Forgiveness

The parable doesn’t end with Jesus’ teaching about forgiveness. After the servant, who had been forgiven a vast debt, refuses to forgive a fellow servant for a much smaller debt, the king learns of his actions. The king, angered by the servant’s lack of mercy, condemns him to prison until he can repay his original debt. Jesus ends the parable with a sobering warning: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).

This statement doesn’t mean God will literally withhold forgiveness from us if we don’t forgive others. Instead, Jesus is teaching that our inability to forgive reflects that we haven’t fully embraced the forgiveness God has already extended to us. While God has forgiven all our sins—past, present, and future—our willingness to forgive others should be a natural response to that grace.

What Forgiveness Is and What It Isn’t

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing the wrong or ignoring the hurt caused. It’s not about pretending the offense didn’t happen. Forgiveness is about releasing the person from the debt they owe you.

Forgiveness is also not about denying the pain caused. It’s important to acknowledge the hurt, but forgiveness is the choice to let go of the anger and bitterness that often accompany that pain. It is a decision to trust God with the wrongs committed against us, allowing Him to deal with the offender in His perfect justice.

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness may seem difficult, but it is the only way to break free from anger, resentment, and bitterness. Forgiveness is a key ingredient for healing, both for the person who forgives and the person who is forgiven. While forgiveness may not immediately restore the relationship, it frees the one who forgives from the emotional prison of unforgiveness.

In many cases, forgiveness opens the door to reconciliation and restoration, but it’s important to note that restoration and reconciliation are not always possible, especially in cases involving deep broken trust or compromised safety. While forgiveness is essential, it doesn’t mean returning to a relationship that is unhealthy or unsafe. But even when restoration isn’t possible and reconciliation isn’t appropriate, forgiveness is still necessary.

The Journey of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a journey, not just a one-time decision. Here are five steps to guide you through the process of forgiveness:

1. Embrace God’s Forgiveness: Reflect on the immense forgiveness God has extended to you. Understanding that your sins – past, present, and future – are forgiven through Jesus Christ will empower you to forgive others.
2. Choose to Forgive: Forgiveness is a decision. It’s not based on emotions or how you feel about the person who wronged you. It’s choosing to let go of the offense and trust God with the situation.
3. Release the Offender: Let go of the debt you believe the offender owes you. Release them from the emotional weight they’ve caused you, trusting that God will handle the justice.
4. Trust in God’s Timing: Reconciliation and restoration may take time. Trust that God will work in the hearts of both parties and allow Him to do the work of rebuilding relationships and trust.
5. Embrace Healing: As you forgive, allow God to heal your heart. Trust that forgiveness will bring freedom and peace to your life, even if the relationship isn’t immediately restored.

Conclusion

Forgiveness is at the heart of the Christian faith. It is through God’s immense love and mercy that we are forgiven, and He calls us to mirror that forgiveness in our relationships with others. The parable of the unforgiving servant reminds us that forgiveness is not optional; it is a command. As we forgive, we experience healing and freedom, both personally and relationally.

If you are struggling with forgiveness, start by reflecting on the immense grace God has shown you. Ask Him for the strength to forgive those who have hurt you. Remember, forgiveness is not about excusing the wrong, but about releasing the burden and trusting God to handle the justice.

Let’s commit to living lives marked by grace, mercy, and endless forgiveness, and experience true peace and healing in our relationships.

To learn more on this topic, watch “Unreasonable Forgiveness,” a sermon from our lead pastor David Smith delivered on May 4, 2025.